The NaNo Jitters

I think every writer has this, at least those insane enough late one night after too many glasses of wine to jot down their information and think, “50,000 words in a month? That’s not so bad. I can do that.” Then comes the harsh light of a cool fall morning, with frost on your windshield and the baby screaming, and suddenly it punches you in the gut—panic. Sheer and utter panic. Mixed with morning-after regret. “50 thousand words in a month? WTF… I haven’t even written fifty words this week! Unless typing the title for the review of Fifty Shades of Grey actually counts as fifty words…”

And the NaNo Jitters have set in.

Mine hit even before I finished the sign up form for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I have a day job, a young child, a farm, and other writing obligations. I also devote time every day to fitness and cooking and keeping house and spending time with my Spousal-Type Creature. There’s a lot of hats there. But one of my favorite mantras right now is from the well-known writer Elizabeth Gilbert. And that is “creativity is the art of showing up.” (To hear more about this idea, check out her TEDtalk.)

I have a lot of time to think during my day job. So I had time to reflect on this meditation. There’s many ways to approach this. But at its heart, it means that showing up every day and putting in the work of creativity, eventually you’ll train your muse to show up. NaNo might be an extreme way to train your muse, but you know what? Its 30 days. 30 days out of the 365 days in the rest of the year. You can do anything for 30 days. And it’s good to shake things up, to change your routine, to push your comfort zone, and to check out the limits of what you think you can do. 

We’ll call this the “better to have loved and lost” phenomenon. Some people go their whole lives without challenging themselves, without pushing their physical/mental/emotional limits. Are they any happier than someone who does challenge themselves and push their limits? I’d take a venture and say no. A life unexamined, a life without risks (within reason, don’t do anything crazy like jump off a building hoping to land safely, I’m talking about word count here, that’s pretty innocuous), is no life. There will always be that regret, that niggling feeling that you could have done more. I can’t speak for everyone, but I wouldn’t want to live with the feeling that I could have tried harder. 

So to all of you NaNo writers, take a deep breath and know we’re all pulling for each other. And we’re all writing the same way, one word at a time. Even if some days if it’s like searching for the next word with two hands and a flash light, if you keep showing up, if you keep writing, you keep challenging yourself. And none of us should ever stop doing that.

Are you a NaNo? Stop by and add me as a buddy, let’s help encourage each other! We can do it! http://nanowrimo.org/participants/axalee