Variety is the spice of any relationship. It’s a bit too personal to go much into the variety we enjoy as a couple, but I will definitely recommend it for anyone. How do you know you’ll like something until you try it? (Damn open-mindedness is showing again, isn’t it?) But of course, you have to both be secure in your relationship to try anything. You have to be with someone you trust, and trust in an adult way. The best way I heard that kind of trust articulated was in a self-help book by an author I can’t place right this moment, who said (paraphrasing here) you can’t say to your partner “I trust you not to hurt me.” That’s immature and will get you hurt. But if you can say “I trust what you do with me,” then that opens a huge number of doors.
Having have experienced both of these types of loving, I can definitely say the latter is better. I trust my partner, I trust what he does with me, and I trust that if I say I’m uncomfortable that he will stop. Because being together is about growing and changing together. About pushing limits and learning about what you’re comfortable with. That’s one reason I love anthologies. You can explore a whole variety of scenarios and learn your limits, or at least decide on a limit you might like to explore further, in the safety of your own reading area. And it helps give you the vocabulary to have that discussion with your partner.
So I’ve touted this book before, but I just can’t recommend it enough. And I have a feeling it’s one of those books I’ll return to again and again through the years to draw on the decades of experience these authors share about their emotionally and sexually satisfying marriages. Of course, this book is Bedded Bliss: A Couple's Guide to Lust Ever After by Kristina Wright. This is a self-help/erotica and it’s fantastic. The erotica is hot, the advice is solid, and it helps so much in giving a sense of community to those of us who are in happy relationships. Being happily together is something that almost flies under the radar in our society, but just because you’re happy doesn’t mean you can be complacent. You have in continually invest in your relationship to keep reaping the benefits and I love this book and how it discusses, among other things, how to do that. So even if your relationship is fantastic, this book is still worth checking out, even if only so you can read it and smugly smile, saying to yourself, “Yeah, we already do that.”
Monday, March 31, 2014
Dirty, Happy Book Reviews: Anthologies
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Happy, Dirty Relationship: Nexus
The whole idea behind Happy, Dirty Relationships came from, among other things, reading Kristina Wright’s book Bedded Bliss: A Couple’s Guide to Lust Ever After. I can’t seem to find the line exactly, but the concept was that couples who are content, emotionally and sexually, in their relationships are almost an invisible population.
It was one of those AHA! moments for me, as I finally realized why while all the other women I know complain about their guy, I shrug and go “mine can’t seem to get around to installing the childproof latches for the toddler.”
In the broad scheme of things, not that big of a deal.
It’s also because I don’t make it that big of a deal. (Even withholding fellatio didn’t work, so this is one of those things I’m never going to win.)
There are a lot of things that go into a dirty, happy relationship. And it’s going to be different for everybody. But if you are one of the few, know that you’re not alone.
And if you figure out a way to motivate your guy to install the kiddie latches, even if it involves a three-way and a billy goat, leave me a comment lol.
Check out Ande Lyons' video review of Bedded Bliss here.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Three of Hearts!!!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Recommended Reads
There's a lot of hot erotica out this summer. (Have to confess, I only just made it through Fifty Shades, but these are actually good, I promise.) Some reads I've really enjoyed so far are:
- Twice the Pleasure edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
- Voracious edited by Violet Blue
- Best Sex Writing 2013 edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
- Girls Girls Girls by Lynn Lake, Jaye Raymee, Sadie Spiller
- Duty and Desire
- Fairy Tale Lust, both edited by Kristina Wright
Keep smiling, it makes them wonder what you’re up to.
 |
| Rosa Erotica |
Posts
