Three Bullshit Reasons Not to Have a Threesome

[Warning: It’s Thursday and we’re talking about threesomes. Consider yourself warned. ;-) ]  

I’m a big believer in happy relationships. I’m also a big believer that if you’re having problems at home, then you need to fix those problems in-house.

(Professional help isn’t included here; I’m just saying if you’re having problems don’t go to your mom or bff and bitch or guess about what he/she is really thinking, because the BEST way to find that out is to talk to he/she and ASK what they are thinking. All the speculation in the world won’t get you inside their head better than asking can. If you can’t ask them, for whatever reason, that speaks to a whole other level of relationship issues.)

Now, as far as a three-way (threesome, menage, whatever you want to call it), lots of couples report interest in this sex act. Having a threesome can be an absolutely mind-rocking, amazing experience with your partner. There is something fantastically hot about working with your partner to make another person orgasm. (Provided that you’re wired that way.)

BUT there are serious things to consider beforehand. I’m not going to tell you whether you should or shouldn’t have a threesome, but here are some guidelines to consider.

• DON’T have a threesome to fix a troubled relationship or spice things up.
• DON’T have a threesome if you don’t have AMAZING communication, trust, and passion with your partner.
• DON’T have a threesome if you’re insecure.

These are just a few, but there are lots of reasons NOT to have a threesome, especially if you’re not secure as a couple, don’t have excellent communication, and can’t control your jealousy.

Alternatively, there are some incredibly bullshit arguments out there about why a couple shouldn’t have a threesome.



Bullshit Reason #1: “Our bed isn’t big enough for three.” This is SUCH a bullshit reason. If you’re already fucking, be comfortable enough in each others' space to cuddle. End of story.
 
Bullshit Reason #2: “My spouse might think he/she is hotter than me and they might run off together. Or my spouse might not want to fuck just me anymore. Or will realize that I’m not so hot…” Honey, if you’re that insecure in your relationship then having a threesome is not your biggest problem.


Bullshit Reason #3: “I might like it so much that two person sex won’t ever cut it again.” And the problem with this is…? But seriously, out of all the reasons not to have a threesome, this one is pretty ridiculous. You might like being spanked or handcuffed, but you (probably) don’t want that each and every single time you have sex. Realize that each time you have sex it’s like a snowflake—not each one is created equal, but each one is amazing and special if you appreciate it. 
 
So basically, a couple thinking about a threesome needs to have a terrific level of communication and trust, find the same other person attractive, be able to keep their sanity, have a good sense of humor and open-mindedness, and deal well with “morning after” stuff. There are a lot of reasons not to have a threesome, but don’t let the bullshit reasons get in your way. Be realistic, be passionate, and don’t ever do it because you feel pressured, or delicious experience can fuck up your relationship.

Think you’ve got what it takes? ;-)