Dirty, Happy Relationship Reflection #4

My STC (Spousal-Type Creature) and I work more or less six days a week. That means we get one day together, if we’re lucky. (No, I’m not sure how we found time to make babies either.)

The STC remains adamantly against scheduling sex, although that would be a convenient practice. However, we do have a more or less understood standing date every Sunday morning. After the kiddo gets up and gets his bottle, he wants nothing to do with anyone for a good hour or two. He’s content to “read” his books, play with his toys, and yell at the talking tractor on TV. (Grandpa must have taught him how to yell at the tractor with a hammer in his hand.)

The rest of the day, the kid gets tons of interaction with the rest of the family, as we all run errands together, have a meal with extended family, and work on projects around the house and farm together. So I try not to feel guilty for those few hours on Sunday morning when we plug in the baby monitor while the kid does his thing and his dad and I bang the crap out of each other.

All the advice books say couples need to make time to reconnect and just be together, and that’s what Sunday mornings are for us. We’ve tried the date night thing, but the STC and I are both too exhausted by night to really enjoy our time together and generally end up falling asleep in hoodies and sweatpants in front of Netflix. And if we go out, he’s always checking in on his phone, so really mornings don’t just work well for the kid, they work best for getting my honey away from his tech.

While this Sunday morning strategy won’t win me mom-of-the-year, at least in my own mind, it is working for right now, and the STC and I are sensationally happy together. (Really, it’s disgusting. Like the heroines out of romance novels would hate me.) So the moral of this happy, dirty relationship discussion is that even if you and your partner aren’t hooking up, even if it’s preparing a meal together, sitting and having a drink, cuddling, whatever it is that helps you feel connected and intimate, implement that into your routine. It doesn’t have to be anything as serious as writing it into the calendar, as long as it’s something you make time for every week, or whenever you can.

Just remember to use the correct end of the baby monitor.